


never meant to leave unsaid

by teeandrainbows



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bobby is a member of the band, Canon Compliant, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Reggie Peters Needs a Hug (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie needs a hug, Set in the 90s, Sunset Curve (Julie and The Phantoms)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28801686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teeandrainbows/pseuds/teeandrainbows
Summary: Reggie goes to a band rehearsal after a rough day at home, only to find his bandmates equally on edge.  When tensions rise, he can't handle it any more.Reggie runs.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Reggie Peters, Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 149





	never meant to leave unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get the idea of the boys opening up about their home lives out of my head, so here we go! This is set about a year before they died.
> 
> Title is from Unsaid Emily.
> 
> Check out my [tumblr](https://reggieshamster.tumblr.com)!

Reggie could handle the yelling. It was easy to turn on his music and drown out the harsh sounds of argument cutting through the walls of his home. The louder his parents shouted at each other, the louder Reggie would turn up the music before sitting down on the floor next to his bed, chin dropped to his chest, eyes screwed tightly shut, arms wrapped around his torso.

When he heard glass shattering during a break between songs, though, he flinched. Yelling, he could handle. When they started throwing things, though… that was too much. Reggie grabbed a flannel shirt from his bed, tying it around his waist, then stopped the music. They probably wouldn’t even notice, so wrapped in their mindless arguing they were. He slipped down the hall and out the front door, avoiding the kitchen where his mother was screaming something incoherent.

Once outside, Reggie darted across the street, onto the sand. He had always liked living across the road from a beach; it gave him a perfect spot to escape to when the arguments got bad. He meandered across the sand, weaving between beachgoers, not paying attention to where he was going. It didn’t matter. As long as he was anywhere but his house.

The worst part was that he had no one to talk to about what he had to go through. Reggie had no doubt that Luke, Alex, and Bobby would be supportive, but he didn’t want to burden them with his issues. It was better to keep it all to himself, to deal with it as best as he could, and let the music provide him the escape he needed from the yelling and screaming.

He didn’t realize at what point he left the beach and started wandering the streets of LA until he found himself outside the studio where he and the boys worked on their music. It made sense, of course. The studio was his safe place. It was the one place where Reggie knew he didn’t have to be afraid. The one place where he could be himself, and not have to worry about being used to make a point in an argument.

The tension that had been wound up inside of him since he left the house started to dissipate, his shoulders slowly relaxing as he stared at the garage door, the smallest hint of a smile beginning to stretch across his lips.

A hand descended on his shoulder, then, and Reggie jumped at least a foot in the air, breathing in sharply through his nose. He turned letting out the breath.

“Hey, man,” Luke said, holding up his hands in surrender. “Chill out, it’s just me. You’re early,” he added, walking briskly past Reggie and unlocking the door to the studio.

Right. They were rehearsing later. Reggie offered a faint smile, his heart still pounding in his chest. Memories flitted through his mind, memories of his father storming into his room after having a bit too much to drink, clearly having finished screaming at his mother and now turning his attention towards his only son. Memories of his father ordering him to shut off that blasted music and do something productive with his life before throwing his arm in a wide sweeping motion, knocking Reggie’s boombox to the floor. Memories of his father turning back to Reggie, his wide hand descending on his shoulder and pulling him to his feet. Memories that were too painful, too real.

Luke cleared his throat and Reggie blinked, focusing his gaze on his friend and bandmate.

“You okay, Reg?” he asked, concern edging into his voice.

Reggie quickly shook his head, plastering the fakest smile he could muster. “Yeah,” he said, hating how his voice cracked. “I’m good. I just thought I’d try to beat you here this time. Looks like I did it, hey?” He forced a chuckle, following Luke into the studio and making a beeline for his bass in the corner.

The moment it was in his hand, the memories drifted away and Reggie was left with the feeling of confidence he always had when he was ready to play. Luke was eyeing him suspiciously, even as he picked up his guitar and began tuning it.

“I was thinking we could work on Now or Never today,” Luke commented, strumming a few chords. “I’ve nearly got the bridge sorted out, but Bobby and I need to figure out the verses. You cool with that?”

Reggie nodded. “Yeah, of course,” he said, plucking a few notes to check the tuning on his bass. Alex had pointed out more than once that Reggie tended to agree with anything Luke suggested, but he couldn’t help it. If he had learned anything since starting high school, it was that the faster he agreed, the less likely he was to get yelled at.

He hated that he knew that.

Thankfully, Luke wasn’t nearly as observant as Alex was. “We should practice while we wait for the others,” he said. With a wink and a grin, he began playing the opening riff to one of their songs.

Reggie joined in, adding harmony when Luke started to sing. It was always different, playing without the others, but Luke had an infectious energy about him that almost made Reggie forget about what he had escaped back at home.

Almost.

In the middle of the song, the door opened and slammed closed, making Reggie jump and miss a beat. He immediately stopped playing and whirled around, his heart pounding.

“Oh, Alex,” he breathed, as Luke finished strumming the last chords of the chorus. To try and distract from his jumpiness, he flopped down on the couch, holding his bass close.

The drummer nodded at the two of them. While his terseness wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary, Reggie couldn’t help but notice that he looked tense, like a coiled spring about to be released. He glanced between Alex and Luke, trying to tell if they were having one of their silent conversations as they stared at each other. While he knew the two of them had known each other before they started the band, sometimes he wished he didn’t feel so out of place when it was just the three of them.

“I beat Luke to the studio today,” he chimed up, trying to diffuse whatever tension was still in the room. “Now we have to record one of my country songs.” It was a long-standing joke; Luke would only work on a country song if Reggie got to rehearsal before he did. From the groan coming from Luke’s direction, the guitarist had forgotten about that particular promise.

Alex glanced over at him, an eyebrow raised. “Sunset Curve, going country. Who would have thought?”

Reggie only grinned. At least it wasn’t a forced grin, he thought.

Luke clapped Alex on the back as he walked past the two of them to sit behind the drum kit and picked up his sticks.

“Now or Never?” Alex asked.

Reggie jumped to his feet. “What about Bobby?”

“He’s late,” Luke replied, shrugging. “Might as well get started.”

Reggie cast his gaze downward, watching his feet as he rocked back and forth. Alex counted them in and Luke played the opening riff, launching into the song they had been working on. When they reached the bridge, Luke stopped them and began explaining the idea that had apparently come to him in a dream.

“It’s gonna sound wicked,” he promised, knocking his closed fist against Reggie’s chest. From behind the drum kit, Alex was nodding thoughtfully, and Reggie offered a grin.

“Let’s try it.”

Before they could start playing, the door opened once more and Bobby slipped in.

“Hey guys,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Where were you?” Luke asked, fixing Bobby with a stare. “We didn’t want to wait so we got started.”

“I got stuck on the other side of town with my dad,” Bobby explained, going for his guitar.

Reggie could sense the tension rising in the room and quickly spoke up. “But you’re here now! We’re working on Now or Never.”

Bobby nodded appreciatively at him, but Reggie didn’t miss the subtle look he shot at Luke as he took his place. Breathing in through his nose, he glanced over at Alex, who was also watching the two guitarists cautiously.

They started to play from the beginning, and when they reached the bridge, Alex started to sing, as Luke had suggested. Bobby stopped playing, turning to him.

“When was that decided?” he asked, tossing his hair back. Reggie swallowed nervously, dropping his right hand from the strings and gripping the fabric of his flannel, still around his waist as Alex shrugged.

“About ten minutes ago,” he replied, his tone cool. “You were late, remember?”

Bobby tilted his head. “Right, but I thought we made decisions about the songs as a group.” He glanced back at Luke. “Like when we waited for Reggie when he had that dentist appointment two weeks ago.”

Reggie shifted uncomfortably. This was how it started, sometimes, at home. His name would be drawn into the argument, and it would spiral from there until he couldn’t remember which parent had started it. He swallowed a rising lump in his throat, staring down at the floor.

“Fine,” Luke said sharply. It wasn’t quite a snap, but it still made Reggie clench his fist in the fabric of his flannel. “Bobby, what do you think about Alex singing the first line of the bridge?” His voice was clipped, and he was gripping the neck of his guitar tightly.

“I think it’s a good idea,” Bobby replied, his voice equally as clipped, staring across at Luke who met his gaze.

“Let’s run it again, then,” Luke said, turning around. Alex counted them in and Reggie almost forgot to play, being so caught up in his fear that the disagreement would get worse.

It wasn’t as if they never disagreed. Reggie was used to it, and at least it wasn’t nearly as bad as what he went through back at home. But today? He was on high alert, and it seemed that his bandmates were equally on edge.

Rehearsal continued, although the mood in the studio was frosty. Luke and Bobby convened to sort out the guitar parts for the verses while Alex went to sit next to Reggie on the couch.

“You good?” Alex asked, turning to look at him.

“Hm?”

“You haven’t said much today,” the drummer continued, shrugging. “It’s not like you.”

Curse how observant he was. Reggie forced a chuckle. “Just a bit tired. You know, school’s been a drag, lately, and I keep telling my parents it would be great if I got a puppy, you know?”

Alex let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like “okay”, but didn’t say anything else. He didn’t get the chance to, since Luke suddenly raised his voice, drawing Reggie’s and Alex’s attention towards the two guitarists in the corner.

“Why do you have to be so difficult about it?!” he snapped, tugging the beanie off his head and balling it into his fist. “It’s not that big a deal!”

“You’re not the leader of Sunset Curve!” Bobby retorted.

Luke scoffed, pacing in a tight circle before replying. “What, and it should be you?”

“Maybe then we would actually have decent gigs!”

Alex rose to his feet, but Reggie remained on the couch, frozen in place.

“Guys,” Alex started, but Luke waved him away.

“Go on, tell us all about how you’d be better at holding us together than I am,” he spat, looking for all the world like a dog with its hackles raised.

It was Bobby’s turn to scoff. “As if.”

“You wish you were as good as me,” Luke snapped, his voice raising in volume.

“Right,” Bobby retorted, “because you’re king of the world, and everyone should just freaking bow at your feet!”

“Stop it,” Reggie whispered, gripping the cushion of the couch with his fingers as Luke and Bobby continued to yell at each other, their voices getting louder and louder. Alex stepped forward, only to have Bobby turn on him, which only made the drummer join the argument.

“Stop…” Reggie repeated, the feeling of dread filling him from head to toe. They didn’t hear him, of course, not over the sound of their own voices. He couldn’t even make out the words anymore, only the sound of yelling, coupled with a loud drone inside his own head.

When Bobby shoved Alex backwards, against the wall, Reggie couldn’t handle it anymore. “STOP!” It was a shout, and he didn’t realize he had stood up until the white spots in his vision faded away and he could see the other three standing still, all eyes on him. His chest was heaving, and he was having trouble breathing.

“Reg...” Alex started, but Reggie shook his head.

“Stop fighting,” he said, hating how weak his voice was. He slowly lifted his strap over his head, setting the bass on the couch. “Or I’m out.”

Reggie turned, heading for the door, squeezing his eyes shut, eyes that were burning with tears. He heard someone else calling his name, Bobby that time, but ignored it, slamming the door shut behind him.

He didn’t stop until he was a full block away from the studio, leaning against a power pole and blinking furiously, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall. Out in the brisk evening air, it was slightly easier to breathe, although it still came in short bursts. Raking one hand through his hair, he straightened up, trying to compose himself.

“Reggie?” he heard behind him. Luke. He turned, continuing down the street, trying to stay away. His feet carried him to an old park, and he slipped in past the fence, his face now wet with tears.

A hand descended on his shoulder. “Reg, stop,” Alex said, deep concern leaking through his words.

Reggie didn’t stop. He pulled away, hating everything. Hating his parents, hating his friends, hating the way the sob tore its way out of his throat, hating the slight chill to the air, hating that he had chosen to wear a tank top. He pushed forward, walking across the grass.

Someone grabbed at his wrist, yanking him back, and he whirled around, tears clouding his vision.

“Leave me alone!” he snapped, pulling his arm free from Bobby’s grasp and taking a few steps backward. Luke was next, reaching for him, and Reggie slapped his hand away. “I mean it!”

Luke didn’t relent, grabbing his wrist and holding on tightly.

“Stop it!” Reggie howled, pulling as hard as he could. “You’re hurting me…” That was said quietly, his voice breaking, and he sank to the ground, pulling Luke down with him. Reggie’s shoulders heaved as he cried, barely noticing as Alex sat behind him, a hand on his elbow, and Bobby crouched down next to him.

After a moment, Luke pulled Reggie towards him, wrapping his arms around him tightly in a hug. “I’m sorry, Reg,” he breathed, pulling away but patting Reggie’s shoulders. “I really am.”

“I’m sorry too,” Bobby said, his voice hesitant. “We didn’t mean to… it’s just been… a hell of a day, and I think we were both on edge.” He glanced sideways at Luke who nodded.

Reggie scoffed. “A hell of a day? Did your parents have a screaming match? Did your dad throw a vase at your mom?”

Alex’s hand on Reggie’s arm gripped tighter. “What?”

Bobby and Luke looked equally as confused, so Reggie continued. “They’ve been fighting all week. Dad was drinking last night, and I barely got any sleep.”

Luke drew in a sharp breath. Beside him, Bobby was staring down at his lap, his hands twisted together.

“We had no idea,” Luke said, quietly.

“Of course you didn’t,” Reggie replied, shrugging. Sitting on the grass was strangely comforting, and he lifted his chin, meeting Luke’s concerned gaze. “I don’t exactly like to talk about it. I’m just lucky I left when I did and went to the studio.” He sighed. “It’s been happening for years. I don’t get why they don’t just give up and get a divorce.”

To their credit, his friends remained silent, letting Reggie continue. “I used to try to get in the middle of it, but… I don’t know if you guys remember the time I said I fell and bruised my arm and couldn’t play for a while?”

“Reg,” Alex breathed behind him. Luke’s face was stony, and Bobby swallowed hard.

“You should have told us,” Bobby said, putting a hand on Reggie’s knee. “We could have--”

“Done what?” Reggie asked, turning to look at him. “My parents are screwed up, and I have to deal with it. There’s not really much you can do.”

“We could have been there for you,” Luke said finally, squeezing Reggie’s shoulder.

“And we would have known not to get so heated,” Alex added, clearly choosing his words carefully.

Reggie shrugged. “It’s fine. I overreacted.”

“No, you didn’t,” Luke said, shifting back and sitting down cross legged on the grass. “We should have realized you were uncomfortable.”

“I should have realized,” Alex said, moving to Reggie’s other side, opposite Bobby, so they were sitting in a loose circle. “We all know Luke doesn’t notice things, but I thought you looked on edge.”

Damn his friends for being so supportive. “It’s not your job to look out for me,” Reggie said, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Dude, that’s what friends are for,” Bobby said, patting his knee. “Just like how you had every right to be upset about us having a go at each other.”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, and you should know, we’re going to talk about it and figure things out. We’re all friends, here, and there’s nothing that could split us apart.”

His cheeks were no longer damp, and Reggie felt the smallest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without the three of you.”

Luke grinned, reaching out and squeezing Reggie’s hand. “Likewise.”

They were quiet for a moment, and Reggie was finally starting to feel like the tension was drifting away when Alex cleared his throat.

“Not to piggyback on Reggie, or anything, but my home life isn’t too great right now either,” he said, quietly. “Dad caught me kissing Oliver last weekend, and he won’t let me see him. Mom won’t stop crying whenever she sees me.”

Reggie looked over at him, his lips parted. Across from him, Luke drew in a sharp breath.

“Shit,” Bobby said, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m sorry, ‘lex.”

Alex shrugged. “It sucks. I think they’re disappointed, rather than mad, but I think that’s almost worse. I just want my parents back, y’know?”

They all nodded, humming in agreement. Reggie glanced across just in time to see a curious look pass over Luke’s face.

“My parents want me to quit the band,” he said suddenly, his head hanging. “My mom and I keep arguing about it. You guys always wanted to know why I’m always the first one to the studio? I can’t stand being at home.” His jaw clenched and he balled his hands into fists. “I think it’s why I’m so intense about the music, you know? I just… want it to be perfect so I can prove to them that this is worth it.”

When he fell silent again, Reggie swallowed a lump in his throat. “You should have said something,” he said, twisting his hands together in front of him.

“Like you did?” Luke retorted, although there was no hint of malice. Reggie sighed, shrugging.

“Fair.”

They were all silent for another long minute, until Bobby finally spoke up.

“I was late because we’re living in a motel right now. Dad lost his job. He was at an interview, so I had to look after Sophie. Mom refuses to leave New York to help,” he explained, staring at the ground. “I had to wait for a cab when Dad got back, because he forgot I needed his cab to come here.”

“Bring Sophie next time,” Alex said, and Reggie and Luke nodded.

“Yeah,” Luke chimed in, “we could use an audience, anyway.”

Bobby snorted. “She’s two years old, guys. I don’t think she’s the audience we’re aiming for.”

Reggie knocked shoulders with him. “Doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t have to worry about choosing between her and us.” He offered Bobby a warm smile, and was happy to see his friend smile back at him.

Luke patted Bobby’s knee. “Reggie’s right. And I want to say, for the record, I’m sorry I was so on edge today.”

“Me too,” Alex chimed in.

Bobby raised his hand. “Me too.”

“And me,” Reggie finished, pushing himself to his feet. “This was a nice little sharing circle. I feel like I know you three even better now.”

Amid hums of agreement, Alex was the next to rise, followed by Bobby, and finally Luke.

“Whadya say we skip the rest of rehearsal and go get pizza or something?” Luke asked, slinging his arms around Bobby and Reggie’s shoulders. “Since none of us really want to go home right now, I’m sure.”

Alex grinned. “Only if Reggie agrees not to order the weirdest pizza on the menu.”

“It was one time!” Reggie exclaimed, ducking out and away from Luke’s arm. “Can we go easy on the touching for a bit? Just until my dad cools down at home?”

There was a fleeting look of concern that passed over Luke’s face, but he nodded. “Of course,” he said, crossing over to Alex and leaning against his shoulder. “But you know it’ll just stack and when you’re cool with it again, I won’t let go of you.”

Reggie snorted, falling in stride next to Bobby. “Sure,” he said, shaking his head. “Fair enough.”

He felt better as they left the park and made their way to the nearest pizzeria. No wonder they were all so close. Even though their home lives might be rough, at least they had each other. And as he shoved a slice of the weirdest new pizza into his mouth, much to the amusement of the others, Reggie knew in that moment that he had fully forgiven the others for the incidents at rehearsal.

They were his family, after all. Even though they had fought, they had come together in the end and were stronger for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make my day!


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